Glad I Bet on You
by Puella5639
Summary: The Capitol releases it's prisoners after 7 years, but will Katniss find anyone?
1. Chapter 1

So I saw a photo on Facebook about a month ago, and it had a horribly written paragraph about Cinna being released and finding Katniss. It was so badly written I just had to fix it ;) This is my first story, PLEASE REVIEW!

**I sat in the living room that morning, my children played in front of me. I watched as try chased each other from room to room, Rose easily outdistancing her brother Roran who still ran with the unsteadiness of a toddler. As I sipped my coffee they intermittently cried out, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, watch this!" "Mommy look at me!" "Mommy he tripped me!" I just watched them and smiled, feeling the hard win happiness blossom inside of me. Even though my body has healed so that even the deepest scars from the war were gone and forgotten, nothing can truly heal the battle ravaged torn scanned over scar that is my heart. Still, admittedly the two smiling faces playing in front of me have helped quite a bit. Every hug from them is a gift, every smile a gem, every laugh a soothing salve that may one day make my heart while again.**

Suddenly I am no longer in my sun warmed living room, I am in the arena and my leg is nothing but a ball of fire radiating pain. Until a day that would come in too few years I would think this burn was the worst pain I could feel. I can smell the sharp chemicals in the slave I am rubbing into my leg, feel the pain seep away. Then I am in a cave with Peeta and he is dying, and I can do almost nothing to save him. I scrape the remains of the burn medicine from the tin and dab it into his wound, praying that of this does not help the game makers will have mercy and send medicine. I am in the training room hanging the dummy representing the maker of the first games I was in, Madge is handing me her Mockingjay pin, Finnick is being attacked by mutts and I hear his death screech, Gale is being whipped. All these memories and more zip around my mind melding together as a red haze begins swarming around the edge of my vision. Prim is burning. Peeta is strangling me. The deaths I have cause are all facing me. I try to stop the flood if memories, I bury my head between my legs so I don't faint and attempt to get a grip on myself.

I feel a tiny hand on my back, and an even smaller one on my arm. "Mommy?" A scared voice asks. "Are you ok?" As my daughter asks this my son crawls up onto my lap. I am scaring them both and I hate myself for that. Honestly I am also scaring myself. I have to stop this panic attack before it escapes me and evolves into a full on meltdown. I wrap one arm around my son, and reach to smooth my daughters hair with the other. "It's fine honey, Mommy just wanted to rest her head for a minute. It's ok, everything is fine." Except for the fact that as I push away more memories I feel like my brain is eating itself. I stand up, hoisting my son on my hip and holding my daughters hand. "Come on, do you want to go for a walk? That should help mommy feel better. I'm fine" Ha! I hope they believe this lie that I wish I could convince myself. I know that even if the rest of my life was to be perfect that I am too damaged to bet be fine again. I wrap my children in coats, and grab my bow and quiver from the closet. I leave a note for Peeta and I walk with my kids until I feel calm again. It is here surrounded by nature, with my children running among the trees that I feel the closest to being normal.

Here in the green sanctuary I finally allow myself to think of the newspaper headline I had been trying to ignore for the past week. "CAPITOL RELEASES ALL IT'S PRISONERS OF WAR" After seven years the legalities have finally fallen into place so the Capitol has been forced to release all prisoners it took from the districts. It hurts to think about. I know that so many people will be reunited with loved ones, find friends and family they had thought dead, get a piece of their lives back. But I will get nothing. The laughing children besides me and the man at home are my only real family now. Ok, I may as well add Haymitch to that short list too. But the point is all the friends and family that I lost are dead. I have absolutely no chance of getting them back. The worst part is most of them died before my eyes. Finnick who was decapitated, Prim who became another Girl on Fire, Cinna who was beaten to a pulp. I have to stop these thoughts before I meltdown again. The past is the past and I can do nothing to change it. So for now I put my lost loved ones out of my mind and focus on the ones who still remain with me.

After a fairly nice afternoon of playing with my children and attempting to teach them the ways of the forest, we return home my arms heavy with game I collected from my string of traps. As we enter the house my children run off to Peetas art studio to tell of the fun they had, while I store the food I collected and head to the study. I only go in here about once a week, it holds to many bad memories. If not for the books it contained I suspect I would just board up this dark dusty room and forget about it. Ah books, another of the few things that help me cope with life. I have read every book that came in the study, and when I finished those I contacted Effie who sends me a new batch of reading materials every few weeks. But until her new shipment comes to me I will have to find some old favorites to enjoy instead. I have grabbed several books already before I see a pleasant surprise is waiting for me in the desk, the books my bit have come yet but the mail has arrived. I shift through it, placing aside packages I ordered for Rorans upcoming birthday before I skim the letters. I read them eagerly, absorbing news from my mother, Gale, Annie, Johanna, then I read them all again. Then I pile up all letters with a Capitol seal and place them in my ever growing kindling pile. With every batch of letters I doubtlessly get requests from the Capitol asking for me to be interviewed, or write my biography, or have my face plastered on a building. I never reply to them but it does make it easier to start fires when I always have kindling.

I thought I was done but- one letter is left. I did not recognize the address so I was sure it was from the Capitol, but looking at it I see it lacks the Capitol seal. I feel the creaminess of the envelope as my fingertips brush against it, I wonder who it is from. I slide my fingernail under the lip of the envelope, I pull the small piece of paper out. I see the paper is a light shade of purple, and in the faint light of the room I see the letter glimmers with slight specks of gold. I can't explain why as I unfold it my breathing quickens and my heart pounds in my chest. I unfold it and see a phone number, and under it eight words.

I am glad I bet on you- Cinna

If ANYONE wants me to continue this, I will. If not I think this is a pretty good dramatic ending :] This is my first fan fiction so reviews will make me ecstatic!


	2. Chapter 2

I am happy people wanted me to continue this! I honestly had no plans too, so I hope this one will still be good :) Reviews are utterly amazing and make me feel like a rockstar so please review!

I stared dumbly at the piece of paper in my hand, I had to read it a few times before the words really sunk in. I stumbled as I made my way towards the door. "Peeta!" I cried out,the paper crushed in my clenched fist. "Peeta!" I cry out again. I hear his feet pound down the steps and when he round the hallway he is looking warily at me, concern in his eyes. "What is it? What's wrong? What can I do?" As he asks this the room is spinning around me, trying to process what I have just found out. Peeta grabs hold of my hands and my heart rate slows somewhat, it's amazing how even something as simple as him touching me can calms me down. "Are you ok? Did you have another- flashback?" I shake my head numbly, thoughts are whizz zing through my mind so quickly that I can't form a coherent sentence yet. So instead I pry my fingers away from the paper and shove it towards him.

As he reads it and realizes what he is reading, I shove my head in my hands and try not to remember the last time I saw Cinna. Me trapped in the glass tube, the men holding him down, pounding him into the ground without mercy. How can he still be alive? Even if he is alive will he even be the same after so many years of suffering?

Peeta does not need to read the paper more than twice to make sense of it, and when he does he wraps his arms around me. I start crying and I don't even know why I am crying or what I am feeling. Gladness that someone I love is alive? Sorrow that others could not have been? I do know that I am mad at myself. How could I have just assumed he was dead? Given up on him when he never gave up on me? I could have at lest tried to find him, I didn't even have to be the one to do it, I could have hired someone to search for him. How could I have been so selfish?

When the storm or emotions finally calm within me Peeta asks me,"What are you going to do? Will you call him tonight?" I wipe my stinging eyes with the backs if my hands. "I don't know, I just don't. It's been so long since I have seen him and I feel so wrong for assuming he was dead... I could have helped him. We could have helped him, how can he want to talk to me again when I did nothing to try and save him?" Peeta flicks a strand of hair out of my eyes. "You know that all signs pointed to him being dead, it isn't your fault. Even if you had thought he was alive when they took him away so much happened after that it's no wonder you didn't have any hope that he was alive. Lets face it, after the war hope was in pretty short supply. For both of us." As Peeta holds me in his arms I feel myself grow calmer, I compose myself and siting up smooth the letter on the desk.

I open my mouth to wonder what I should do, when Roran appears in the door. "Mama when dinner?" He still speaks like the baby he is, sometimes I wish he could stay like this forever along with his sister. "Soon sweetie," I reassure him. " I stand up and thrust the letter discreetly into Peeta's hand. "I am just going to make a quick meal for them, we can figure this out later." Peeta nods. "So you won't call him tonight?" Something twists inside my chest as I say, "No. I need to think this over before I do anything." I look for something in his face- approval? Disappointment? But he remains neutral and just nods his head.

Late that night I am curled up next to Peeta, the knot in my stomach prevents me from sleeping as I wonder when and if I should call.

If I should call? IF I should call? How can I even think that? I guess I am just scared he will be mad at me, accuse me of not even trying to find him, assuming he was dead. But it is too late to fix that now, shouldn't I have called him as soon as I got his number? I glance at the clock besides our bed. I have been up so long it is technically morning now and the Capitol is a few hours ahead of us... Could I call him now?

Pulling on my robe I slip down the stairs and into the study, the sole room containing a phone. I dial his number, I don't even have to look at it I already have it memorized from reading it so many times. As I push the number in dialing them my head swims and I wonder what

I will say. I hesitate finger hovering over the final number before I decisively pound it in.

When I hear his voice answer mine leaves me completely- I try to talk, say something, when he asks who is speaking I choke out my name. We are both silent for a half a second before words come pouring out of me. Hours later when I hang up the phone I can hardly recall what we talked about, I remember me apologizing countless times in tears, he told me he was sorry for my lost loved ones, I told him I was sorry for his lost years. I told him about my beautiful family, he told me that he was thinking of going back into the fashion business. I asked him how he survived and he told me that story was one the could only be told in person, when he asked when he could see me again I told him I would come to him as soon as I could.

To be continued! Should she bring her kids with her to see Cinna? I was thinking he may have a physical deformity now, missing eye, limb, facial scars etc. Thoughts? I promise the next story will be better than this one :)


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry for not updating! First of all I lost ALL MY NOTES ON MY PHONE! It was pretty traumatic, mainly because I had almost finished a wonderful Avengers story :^( And then not long after I updated this, my dog died. He was old but I still miss him, but then I missed writing so expect more updates and stories :]

The next week is a whirlwind of packing clothes, making travel arrangements with Effie's house, and mentally preparing for the experience of seeing a man I thought dead for many years. Peeta and I talked a lot before deciding to bring our children, and in the end we decided it was about time that they left what was once District 12. It did however make things more complicated.

Ever since the rebellion ended Peeta and I have both kept low profiles, we don't give interviews, attend events, and there is no chance either of us would agree to be on a TV show. In spite of that we are both still pretty famous, if anything our secrecy has only added to our fame. So although it is not horribly likely that either of us would be noticed I still told Effie to please make our trip as discreet a possible.

If just Peeta and I, or even I had just gone we could have moved quickly silently and smoothly. With two children under that age of five though the trip just got quite a bit harder. Now as I board the hover train for the first time I am not remembering the times I boarded one of these vehicles to be shipped to an arena. Between taking care of Rosé and Roran and being filled with the excitement of Cinna I hardly have time to remember those horrible times. But of course I do still remember, because how can I ever really forget things I have been through? But I don't remember the way I usually do. Instead I have flashes of recalling plunging a knife between Haymitches fingers, hearing screams from my nightmares every time the brakes cause the hover car to shrilly stop. But still compared to other hover car trips this is nothing.

The first time I did try to leave my district after the rebellion I couldn't do it. I had planned to leave to visit Gale and perhaps my mother before I married Peeta, but I just couldn't do it. I had barely stepped foot on the vehicle I had started sobbing and collapsed into Peeta"s arms. I had just had so much trouble going onto something I had associated with death and misfortune for so long. Still, hating myself for displaying weakness as I did I forced myself to travel on the car the next day.

That night Peeta and I sit in the dining room watching the landscape flow by out our windows, for the first time I feel at peace when traveling away from my district.

When I awake the next morning Rose is leaning over my face. "Mama! Mama!" She says excitement evident in her voice. "We can see the city! It's so beautiful mama! You have to come see it!" I chuckle ironically to myself. "Sweetie, I have seen it before! You know I have been here, remember?" But although I do not want to I let her drag me out of bed to see a city I loathe where I lost people I love. But instead of looking at the shiny buildings on the horizon I stare at my daughter adoring how excited she is and smiling with her squeals of delight. Just as I don't tell her one of her favorite play places at home is essentially a graveyard I do not tell her the city she gazes at with rapt adoration is a still healing battlefield.

As we approach the city and get even closer Roran joins his sister at the window, mimicking her sounds if delight and excitement, when I start seeing memorials to the dead or buildings still being rebuilt years after a war I was part of I walk away. Leaving Peeta to watch the kids I go to our room to change.

I spent longer than I ever do laboring over what outfit to wear today, I don't particularly care fashion but I know Cinna does so I wanted to look nice for him. In the end I decided on one of the few dresses I own, a sweeping thing the color of freshly tilled earth, with the sash and ends of the sleeves the color of dying embers. It is nothing compared to the masterpieces Cinna"s beautiful mind can design, but I think he may like it.

I let Peeta wrestle Roran into his outfit and get him clean when I get rose ready. I pull her black hair back into a sweet ponytail and pull her blue dress over her head, I like to dress her in blue as it reminds me of her aunt and name sake who is in the blue sky above us now. I almost never dressy children in the colors of fire.

Before our hover car pulls in Peeta and I take a few moments to use sunglasses and scarves to help hide our appearances, though we only have to walk a little bit before we get into the car Effie arranged to have us go to Cinna"s in. We are driven in the car for maybe half an hour as we head towards the edge of the city, but with two children gazing out the windows in awe the time flies by.

As the car pulls up to a building looking like a dozen others we have passed Peeta asks me, "Do you want us to wait in the car when you go in?" Do I? I don't know what it will be like seeing him after so many years, I don't know what I will say. "No," I decide. "I want my family with me when I see him."

We help the kids get out and handing Roran to Peeta, I grasp Rose"s hand. I wish she was still small enough that I could hold her. We are buzzed into the building by a guard, and after the kids go into ecstatics over riding an elevator we find ourselves in front of the door for apartment 917.

I stand in front of the door and raise a hand to knock on it but- I can't. I turn to Peeta, and maybe he can see the fear in my eyes because he stoops in to give me a quick kiss,

and before I can say another word he knocks on the door.

In the pregnant pause that follows I have the ridiculous thought that this is all a sick joke, that Cinna is really dead, that I have been part of an elaborate prank. And them the door opens.

We stare into each others eyes for a millisecond before I fling myself into his arms. Though I manage not to cry vocally some tears leak from my eyes as I bury my face into his shoulder. We both mumble incoherent words to each other before we part and look at each other.

His eyes are still exactly the same, though they may have lost some of there sparkle they still have beautiful golden flecks and are lined with golden eyeliner, but that is the only thing that is the same thing. With his hair cropped close to his head and face gaunt with hunger he is a ghost of the man he was- and of course I now see he has scars. Ragged misshapen round scars line the sides of his face, and I remember vividly the metal fists that pummeled him as I entered the second arena. Suddenly I fear I did the wrong thing by coming- and then he opens his mouth.

"I can not express how happy I am to see you." Overjoyed eyes sweeping my family he adds,"All of you." I laugh in relief as more tears escape me. "Please do come in!" He urges after giving Peeta a quick hug.

Ugh I feel this is really bad and dull :( Please tell me if you hate it :( If you do not hate it the next chapter has Cinna designing an outfit for Rose and Katniss stumbling along a memorial that has a familiar name on it! If I am a bad writer TELL ME. And review! Every time you review a hunger game character comes back from dying ;)


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you for the reviews, and my first ever FAVORITE! That made my day! Thank you! Again, I would rather have constructive criticism than phony compliments- but either of those is better than no comment at all!

Cinna's apartment is obviously new, it has the sterile clean environment of a house that has not yet become a home. But I see signs of him settling in. Scissors rest on a table, snippets of thread cling to the blades, I notice a half opened notebook is filled with sketches of outfits. I smile at him, "So you are still designing?" He smiles at me and shrugs, "Well, I am trying. It's just... Harder to get inspired now." His eyes glaze over with a sorrowful cloud, so I change the subject with the best distraction I have; my children.

"Rose!" I urge her to come out from behind her father, they rarely see new people in our secluded district, and due to our history it is hard for Peeta and I to expose them to as many new people as we should. Shyly my daughter moves forward. "Rose, let me properly introduce you to Cinna. He's a,-" How do I explain a relationship with someone who was my designer? My protecter? My inspiration? My guilt? "He's an old friend of mommie's." I finally say. Smiling easily, Cinna kneels down to her level. "Hello! Did you say your name is Rose?" Ducking her head bashfully she nods. "So are those your favorite flowers then?" She gives him a scornful look, she does not look like me often, but whenever she gets scornful or stubborn I feel she is me in miniature. "No! I didn't choose my name so why would it make me love those flowers the best?" Cinna's smiles becomes more genuine, "Ah, how foolish of me! So what is your favorite?" She doesn't hesitate, "I like ALL the flowers, if I had a favorite it may hurt the other's feelings!" For the first time in years, I hear my friend laugh again. "We'll that is very wise Rose! And very fair." Giggling Rose backs away, her eyes grow big again as they look hungrily over his scars, taking them in. I should chastise her for staring, but I don't want to draw attention to it.

A weight thuds into my legs, and I almost fall forward. This doesn't even phase me, since the time Roran learned to walk he has always preferred running into me to stop rather than simply slowing down. I am hoping he outgrows this soon, he is getting big enough to bruise my legs. I bend down and hoist his solid weight into my arms. "Roran baby, this Cinna! Can you say hi?" Burrowing his face into the crevice of my neck that he loves, he mumbles, "HIIIII!" I try to coax him out to properly say hello, but he just tries to hide his face even more. Cinna laughs, and Peeta moves to take our son from my arms.

"Well, should we sit down?" Cinna asks, motioning towards a couch as poofy as a marshmallow. I sit and feel the cushion give way around me, almost suffocating me in its slick leather. "Katniss, would you like to sit next to me?" Peeta asks this tactfully, but I see the smirk playing around his eyes. I move to a chair that is not trying to swallow me, and once I am seated, for a handful of moments the three of us adults just kind of gape at each other in silence, shocked we are all in the same room together again. Meanwhile the kids sit on the floor poking each other and occasionally giggling.

Cinna shakes his head, looking back and forth from me, to Peeta, to our kids, back to me, again and again. " I just can't believe that I am seeing both of you again let along that you are both married with children..." Peeta smiles his easy smile, "It is pretty hard to believe sometimes, even for me. It took so long to convince her after all!" They both laugh at this when I feel the heat of my blush engulf my face. "Peeta come one, do you always have to say that? After all considering we were so young when we... Meet, it was not such a long time before we got married." Cinna chuckles, but I think I see a flash of something in his eyes. Sorrow? Nostalgia?

Before I can wonder, Rose is besides me, resting her cool hand on mine to grasp my attention. "Yes sweetie?" I ask. "Mommy are we going to eat soon?" I realize I have not fed her or her brother since the breakfast on the train. Feeling like an awful mother I exclaim, "Oh I am so sorry, I forgot we hadn't eaten! Ok, let the grown ups talk a bit and then we will get some food!"

Cinna stands up, "actually I thought we could order food in, so we may want to do that now." The next few hours are a blur. The kids are awestruck by the variety of food on the takeout menus, we eat dinner leisurely, but though we talk, its only about unimportant small things. There is no mention of the games, or Cinna's capture, no word is uttered about our competing in the games or lost loved ones. I can feel Cinna is holding back, I can't help but wonder if it is because I brought my family. So after the meal is over and the kids are bobbing there heads falling asleep, I suggest Peeta take them to the hotel we are staying at while I talk with Cinna more. He agrees and soon Cinna and I are alone.

He brings over a pot of coffee and we sit by each other He is the first to speak. "I am sorry Katniss, I know we have so much to talk about but I just didn't feel like talking about such horrible things around such innocent ears." I nod, "Thank you for that, I really don't want to have to tell my kids about my past just yet." "They really are beautiful!" He tells me with a sad smile. Did he ever have children in his life? People he cared about? I want to know these things about him but now is not the time. "So- I am here. Can you tell me now how you escaped?" The smile slips from his face as he becomes deadly serious. "Well I guess I have put it off long enough... Where do I begin..." He picks up a cup of coffee in front of him and stirs sugar into it for what seems like hours. He is stalling. "You know, if you don't want to its perfectly fine for you not to tell me." He shakes his head, "no I want to tell you I am just piecing it all together and looking for the right words."

"It all started with the wedding dress I suppose. I was so enraged when I had to design it for you, I knew you didn't love Peeta at the time, I knew you were not ready. But I got orders to create your dress so I wanted to make it fabulous." I close my eyes and remember the dresses I had to try on, there were so many but they all had the same amount of intricate detail... "And I have to admit I was proud of those dresses! Every one could have been perfect for you. Then the announcement came and I learned you were going back in the arena. Well, I won't go into details, but I was furious. Enraged. That was when I actually began seriously looking into the rebellion rumors I had been hearing about. Some members had approached me, but at the time I didn't want to take any major risks, so I declined. Almost before I could go looking for them, more members of the rebellion found me just hours after Snow made his announcement.

"I only met with them a few times, we didn't want anyone to suspect I was a sympathizer to the rebels, but we met enough times that we formulated a plan. It was my idea to personify you as The Mockingjay, to make you a symbol. I remembered your pin and of course people in the districts had already grabbed it as a sign of hope. I got to work designing your outfits for the rebellion, but I wanted to do something more. I asked, but they said I was needed too much, that if i blew my cover I may not be ready to make you the Mockingjay. But I knew we couldn't wait to show the districts you were the symbol they were waiting for, we had to act fast. So I decided to, well, give your wedding dress some modifications."

Cinna takes a deep shuddering breathe, and drinks from his coffee before continuing. "The whole time I planned for the dress to turn I felt confident in what I was doing, I didn't care if it would put me in danger, and I figured you were already in danger and this would hardly affect you. But the moment you finished turning and I saw you in that dress the magnitude of what I had just done hit me like a ton of bricks. I had endangered both of our life's, I made snow even more determined to kill you, and I had put myself in severe mortal danger. But when no one came to take me away that night, well I was stupid enough to cling to the slim hope that maybe I would go unpunished for what I did. Of course, you where there when I was taken, I don't think I need to go into details."

We both sit in silence, I don't know what he is thinking about but I am trying to not remember how the metal hands pounded into my friend, how I was utterly helpless as he was dragged away from me, to be killed I thought. "Well the only good thing I would say about when I was taken is that I was not taken to President Snow. If that had happened I am sure I would have been killed. Rather I was taken to a highly guarded prison where I was... Interrogated. It was not pleasant. The worst part was that I was never actually given any important information, even when I wanted to give in and tell them everything I could, I did not know enough to satisfy them. I still don't know how long I was there,it felt like years, but looking back I realize it couldn't have been more than a few months."

Running his hands through his hair, he continues. "I know I should have been killed, from the first day I was told that as soon as they got the information they thought I had that I would no longer be needed. I knew I had to escape, but I didn't know how. Luckily a handful of rebels infiltrated the prison I was at, and managed to hack some records. It was arranged that I would be shipped to anothe prison under another inmates number and name, but I was told there was a catch. Because I would be transferring under another records the rebels would no longer be able to keep track of me, and I was told it may be a while until they found me again- if ever. On top of that I later learned the rebels who helped me where caught and killed- they never got to tell anyone that they had saved me." I sit on the couch absorbing the information as more and more pieces of the puzzle fall into place. I am finally learning the events that led to me believing him dead.

Cinna continues. "So, I was sent away. I never did learn the name of the prison I was at, but I do know it was built specially for war prisoners and that it was somewhere in the north. They had some pretty rough people locked up there, but I later learned roughly a quarter of the prisoners where like me. Rebels who had been saved from the death sentence by being condemned to a prison for who knows how many years. It was not the best place to spend a decade, but at least I was alive, and I always hoped I would be rescued- And of course finally I was.

A couple hours later I am walking away from the apartment, processing all that I learned. I eventually got Cinna to talk more about what the prison was like, but every time I approached the topic of his capture in the Capitol he would keep his mouth closed. But from what I learned my friend has been through horrible unthinkable things, and as I walk through the cool night air I feel utterly grateful that he has managed to survive. We are going to see him again tomorrow, and then it will be time to go home. Home. Where I can walk through my forest, where Haymitch will spend evenings at our house when he is not drunk, where I can feel safe. How is it that I have only been gone for a day when I miss my home so much?

Suddenly the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, and I feel as if I have walked into a dream. A wave of déjà-vu washes over me but I don't know why. I look around. What, is this? Oh no. Waves of panic wash over me, suffocating me, muffling my thoughts. The houses stand tall around me as I stand on the edge of the square. This is where thought I was going to die, where I watched people fall into a bloody abyss as thy slid of the ground. This is where I watched people have the skin melted off of them, and that means that not far from here is where I watched my sister die. My instincts scream at me to flee, turn around, run until I locate the hotel where my family is staying. But I feel like I have to honor Prim and see the place where I lost her. Where I failed to save her.

As if in a dream I see my feet moving one after another, as I walk around the edge of the square. Do they still have the death trap beneath my feet? Do the people here know where they are living? Then again, they probably don't. After all my own children don't know that one of there favorite places to play is essentially a graveyard. I emerge from the square, and I am stunned. The mansion that Snow lived in is gone, I don't know what happened to it, if angry rebels tore it down, if a fire envelope it, all I care about is what has taken its place. Slabs of cold marble are lined in sorrowfully elegant rows, is this a graveyard? I think it is until I walk up to one, run my hands over it and see the small engraved letters spelling out a name. "Sarah Ripta". Who was she? Who were all of these names that I see coat both sides of this slab? I realize in a way this is a graveyard. It must be a memorial for those who lost there lives in the war. So does that mean...

There are well over a hundred slabs here, each finely covered with hundreds of names that appear not to be in any particular order. So it takes me hours before I find any names I recognize. Though I run my fingers over names like "Finnick Odair" and "Cato" and "Clove" I have not yet found the name I look for. I start crying when I find Rues name, and when I see Mags name on a slab something crumbles inside of me. But it is not until I have looked at a couple dozen stones and read the names of too many people who have died that I find her. In the third row, almost at the bottom of the slab I see the name Primrose Everdeen. I collapse to the ground and begin sobbing. We never found my sisters body, never gave her a grave, this is the closest thing I will will ever have to her again.

I finally let the thoughts emerge that I have been resisting since I learned of Cinna being alive. Why couldn't it have been her? If someone could have still been alive, why couldn't it have been my sweet little sister who was so strong and brave? Who went against orders to help save children not much younger than herself? If I could have chosen I will not lie, I would have picked her life to be the one that was saved. The whole evening I was with Cinna I could not stop thinking of it. What would she look like now, what would she be doing? Would she be a doctor? Would she have started a family of her own? It kills me that I will never know what she could have been like. I hate that in my mind it was my fault that she died.

I am crumbled at the base of the Alan of rock for a few moments more, allowing the sorrow to fill me. I want to stay here forever, I feel like I never want to move again I am so heavy with sorrow. But I remember my family waiting for me at the hotel, it's time to go back to them. It's time to move on. I press my fingers to my lips and then to her name, I wish I could kiss or hug her again. I will just have to go and give my children a million kisses and hugs. I walk away from her stone, wiling away tears. Maybe tonight I will tell my children a story about there wonderful aunt. Tomorrow we will see Cinna again and I will go home. Life has to move on, and right now it is pretty good. I have to accept that and leave my last behind. As I walk home I look up at the stars, and for the first time in a long time I almost feel at peace.

Ok I think this is a pretty goo ending, I will leave it unfinished for about a week in case I get a wonderful idea, but till then consider it over! I am so glad so many people read and enjoyed my story, I have plans for Avenger, Divergent AND Harry Potter stories, so don't forget about me!


	5. Chapter 5

So don't say I am not loyal to reviewers! I got a request to add a new chapter as the last one seemed unfinished. I also want to apologize for spelling errors in the story, I type these on my phone and spell check kind of hated me and warps every other word I type -_- Also I would go back and change the errors, but I am still new at the fan fiction world and I fear if I tried to edit the story I would somehow erase it! Also, thank you for everyone who has reviewed, followed, and even favorited this story! Don't forget about me! You can check out my Harry Potter AND Avenger fics anytime! And maybe another Hunger Games one in the future! -oooooh

PS anyone know how to switch a story from in progress to complete? Thanks!

The next morning I am all to ready to leave, and I am trying to get us out of here early so that we can say bye to Cinna at the train station. The original plan had been to say goodbye to him last night, but after coming here I am in no hurry to return, so I would feel better about seeing him again before we part for an undetermined amount of time. The kids are not overly excited to see him again, but Rose, at least, understands Cinna is somehow important to me and does not protest when she learns we will be seeing him again. It's not that they don't like him, it's simply that they still are not used to dealing with new people... Maybe we should come here more, for them.

I pull Rose into my lap while Peeta finishes packing our suitcase, and I run a brush through her hair before I begin braiding it. "Mommy, why are we seeing Cinna again?" She asks me sweetly. "We'll he's a friend of mine, and I don't know when we will be seeing him again, and I would like to say bye to him!" She nods her head, pulling strands of hair through my fingers as she does. "Oh, ok." I finish her braid and we sit together in silence. "So every time you leave someone you should say goodbye?" Rose asks me this innocently, but the simple words make my throat tighten with unshed tears as I think of people who left me that I never got the chance to say goodbye to. I swallow and say in a voice I hope sounds normal, "Yes, you never know when you won't be able to say bye to someone so you should say it every chance you get."

Thankfully Peeta slams the lid of our case closed, and it's time to leave. In the flurry of doing a final sweep of the room and making sure all luggage is accounted for Rose seems to forget our conversation, but it may be one that will haunt me forever. We walk out of the hotel and somehow my mind is in two places at once. Half of me is calling for a shuttle, and loading kids in the car. The other half is wondering what I would say if I could tell lost loved ones goodbye.

We don't have time to meet at Cinna's, so we will just say goodbye at the trains departure. He is standing in a waiting room, empty thank goodness, and it may be my imagination but he looks happier than he did last night. I give him a quick hug, and I am delighted when Rose does the same! We sit down on the plastic seats, waiting for our train to arrive. Cinna leans forward and speaks to me. "I want to thank you Katniss, yet again you have helped me." How have I helped him? By letting him be tortured and put in prison? "What did I do?" I ask.

He smiles, "last night for the first time in a long time I took out a blank notebook and started designing again. Oh since I got- out, I have done some doodling of vague ideas. But no real designing! Last night though I filled up half a notebook with ideas!" Joy is filling his face. " I mean, finally after talking with you I really feel like I can start my life anew! After last night I fell freer than I have in years." I reach out and squeeze his hand. "Oh wow, that's wonderful! Really! I am just so glad for you" we hug yet again. "So what are you planning to do? Who will you design for now that they don't need you for tri-" the word tributes sours in my mouth so I swallow it back down. "For Tv?" He kind of shrugs. "Well I was thinking that I could spend a while just designing, then just see where it goes from there. Maybe I can sell a few outfits and they eventually could be marketed. I really don't know, we'll just see what happens.

We talk for too short a time before our train arrives. We hug goodbye in the waiting room, a private train always draws attention and I don't want to be recognized when I have managed to go undetected for so long. The kids give obligatory hugs, and after Peeta says his farewell they leave to board the train. I hug Cinna tightly to me and as we hold onto one another I hope that we WILL see each other again soon. "Thank you for coming Katniss, thank you so much for coming." I swallow my dry mouth. "Thank you for not- for not-" for not hating me for letting you rot in a prison. For giving up on you. For never even telling my children about you because I couldn't stand to. I am about to say all these things when he opens his mouth- "Shh, Katniss, it's ok. I know. It's all ok. Lets leave the past in the past and move on. There is nothing to forgive, I hope to see you and your beautiful family soon." I gasp from the emotions fighting in me, and as I pull from his embrace all I say is- "Thank you Cinna. I will see you soon, ok?" He nods and smiles. As I get to the door he says, "Katniss!" I turn. "Yes?" A playful grin marks his scarred face that suddenly looks like his old one. "I'm still betting on you."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\/\

I stay composed when I board the train, but I do scoop my son into my arms hugging him close. I stay composed when the train drives away and I look back at the windows of the room Cinna is in, only to find they are tinted so I can't wave goodbye. I stay composed when the tribute building zooms by us.

It is when I look down out my window and see gleams of metal shine in the sunlight and I realize it's the memorial that I visited, when I break down. I don't cry because the kids have seen my tears enough times, but I do bow my head and let the sweet agony of grief wash over me. The train has already long since passed the gleaming metal I saw, but as we pull out the city I whisper my goodbyes to everyone. To Finnick. To Prim. To everyone who has died. But then, after, I compose myself and pull Rose close to me, and sit her down besides her brother. "Rose, have I ever told you about who you were named after?

-fades black, dramatic music starts playing, this is the END! See this is why I did not want another chapter, I fear it is awful :p Please tell me what you think! Thank you for every read, follow, favorite and of course review! My goodness thank you for the reviews! But remember just because the story has ended does not mean the reviews have! So review people! Lets just say if you don't review that the train Katniss and her family are on may have a tragic accident :o :o :o SO REVIEW PEOPLE!

Raven's Dusk- I ADORE ERAGON! It's one of my fave books! Why do you ask? Do you possibly want a new fic? ;) BTW Everyone I totally take requests!


	6. ANNOUNCEMENT

WARNING THIS IS NOT A NEW CHAPTER! Sorry for the false alarm guys! This is just an announcement. So I have had yet more requests to continue this story, really people? I am flattered but honestly this was only supposed to be ONE chapter! Still, I would love to expand this story. The only thing is I have run out of good ideas to continue it. So if you want more chapters you will have to give me some ideas ;) So step up people! I know you are reading this, so comment and tell me how to continue! Again sorry for the false chapter alarm :p -makes up for it by throwing virtual puppies kittens and cookies to the virtual crowd-

If you enjoy reading my work and MUST have more, check out my other stories! Please?

Puella5639


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